Your Friends Might Be Keeping You BROKE (Hard Truth)

Your friends may not control your money but they absolutely influence it.

In this episode, we break down how social pressure, group chats, and unspoken expectations can quietly drain your finances. Learn how to set boundaries, say no without guilt, and build a lifestyle that aligns with your financial goals.

If you’ve ever felt pressure to spend just to belong, this is for you. It’s time to stop performing and start protecting your future.

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Transcript

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When Friends Keep You Broke

Erica Rawls 0:00

Your friends might be keeping you broke. Hey Lexis, I need to say something carefully. Your friends are not responsible for your bank account, but they absolutely influence it. They do. Those brunches, those birthday trips, you know, trying to keep up with the vibes, keep up with expectations that are not said out loud, but it is understood. And it's costing you more money than you think. Let's talk about it.

The Hidden Cost Of Belonging

Erica Rawls 0:27

Welcome back to Coffee With Thee. And if you're new here, hello, nice to meet you. America Ross. I'm your financial wholeness bestie. And around here, we talk about building wealth, living life beautifully, and being able to afford it without losing your style. Because peace is part of luxury. If you ever felt pressured to spend just to belong, this is going to be the episode for you. And do me a favor, can you send this in your group chat? You know, that group chat. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Now let's get into it. Nobody sits down and says, spend money you don't have. Nobody ever. You know, it's subtle. It's we're going out. Let's just split it. It's only this one time. It's hard to say no when it comes to your friends. And I want us to look at it and reframe it just a little bit. Why is it hard for us to say no? Is it because it may imply that you can't afford it? And let's just say that you can't. Who cares? If they're your friends, then they should be able to accept the fact that, hey, okay, she doesn't have it this time. True friends understand and actually support your decision. They're not going to make you feel guilty because you're not able to do or to participate in a thing. So if you're in that group of friends, then you may want to reevaluate. Now I'm not telling you to just to jump ship with all your friends. That's not what I'm saying. Don't leave here saying Erica said I need to leave my friends, because I did not say that. What I was saying was is you should be comfortable enough to share with them that, hey, look, financially, I just don't have it. So I'm not going to be able to participate. I don't care if it's baby shower, if it's a wedding, if it's a birthday, feel comfortable enough in yourself to say no because your future self

Group Chat Budgets And Approval

Erica Rawls 2:06

depends on it. Hey Luxie, guess what, y'all? If you haven't realized I sell real estate, I help buyers and sellers purchase their home. So if you're looking to buy or to sell, reach out to your girl. Now back to the show. And I want to share something with you that I thought was very comical. A lot of us have group chat budgets. Think about it. Look at your group chat right now. Think about how many times you had to pivot in order for you to go out with your friends, go on a brunch, go on an excursion, you know, whatever, go to the spa with your friends. And it was never in your savings plan. But then all of a sudden, you realize that, oh my gosh, I have to come up with this money. So it's because of those things that you need to start having a group chat savings plan, or you need to learn how to say no, because the two don't mix at all. Okay, so when someone starts um types trips, what's the first thing you do? Do you start looking to book flights, looking at the flights to see how much it's gonna cost? That's not friendship pressure, that's approval pressure. Your friends aren't putting that on you. You're making that decision on your own because you're not willing to speak up. So I want to challenge you. This is not about blaming your friends. This is about making you aware of you not being able to make a decision and to voice your position that you're currently in. You're trying to keep up and spend money on things that you can't afford just yet. If you shared it with them, they're probably like, okay, cool. All right, we can do something else. We could do something for free. But not saying anything is going to keep you financially bound, and we don't want that. So I have an assignment for you all because a lot of you are gonna probably walk away and be like, Erica said we need new friends. I did not say that. We don't need cheaper friends. We need friends that are actually aligned. I came from a generation where they said, in business, right? In business, they'll say, okay, if you want to go somewhere, go um, you know, talk to the millionaire. And I found that sometimes that can be very risky. You can learn from them, but to actually sit in their presence day in and day out wishing that you can afford a thing could possibly get you caught up in some debt. It's the same thing with um being friends with people. Your circle should be aligned and being able to have help you save money. It's okay to say no, I said that before. It's okay to say I'm sending this one out. And they're gonna be okay with you saying okay. Because more than likely, they're gonna say, girl, I'm so glad you said you weren't going because I, to be honest, I couldn't afford it either. Then you're gonna be like, okay, cool. Now I'm the one that's in charge. I'm in charge of my future. And actually, I'm showing people I'm leading by example. Now, there could be an issue where you're not financially safe with your friends, and that's something that you may need to address yourself as well, because we don't want you to be in a position where you don't feel safe talking about your financial status because that's not a healthy situation. And I do, I see it all the time. I can always pick out the person that's trying to keep up with everybody else in order to fit in. And if that is you, don't do that anymore because your future self deserves better. Who am I talking to? I'm not talking to the people that are in their 40s or their 50s. Well, there's probably some in their 40s and 50s. I see this a lot in college, I see this a lot when you're first getting out into the professional world. You want to keep up with people, and I'm here to tell you everyone is starting out on the same slate. So just remember that. Hey Luxis, if you're looking for a construction company, I have just the one for you. They are great at everything. You want to know I know? Because I use them personally. Top construction. Check them out. They are reasonable and they get the job done. Now back to the show.

Aligned Friends And Cheap Joy

Erica Rawls 5:36

Aligned friends celebrate goals more than their outfits. You should be able to celebrate without having to make deposits. You can go over each other's houses, sit and watch Bridgerton, do your press-on nails together, do makeup together. There's so many different ways that you can go about having friendship relationships where it's safe, where you all are aligned and saving money and not getting yourself in a position where you're going to be in debt. You said you want a soft life, but your friends require VIP sections and destination birthdays. You want peace, but your social calendar requires deposits. Some of you are not broke because you're not making enough. No, y'all are broke because you lack boundaries. Ooh, did I say that? I want to drink my coffee. And you know what I found? Boundaries, that's a sign of being grown. That's a sign of being in control. So get some boundaries because

Boundaries Over Soft Life Performances

Erica Rawls 6:30

we don't want you to be broke. That was a little harsh, I know. Oh, so here's the other thing. A lot of people don't want to share what's actually going on in their in in their finances. And you don't have to give away everything. You don't have to share everything. Here's the thing: you can simply say to them, hey, look, I'm focusing on um building up my savings, so I can't afford that now. Or you know what? I'm sending this one out. Or catch me on the next one. That's all that needs to be said. They don't have to know everything. That's it. Confidence is found when you don't have to overexplain and they'll accept that. I challenge you to try it. So here's the truth: the right people will adjust, the wrong people will react. And you know what I say? Let them. Yeah, I have to put a little Mel Robbins in there. I know. I have to put a little Mel in there. Yeah. Becoming financially whole, it requires courage. And what I can promise you is it's going to feel uncomfortable in the beginning, but then you're going to start seeing like it's going to be a natural adjustment. So your friends that you have today, they may still be your friends tomorrow. But if they're not, you're going to align yourself with some great people that's going to have the same vision and intention to live a life they truly want to live and to be able to afford it. Okay, some of y'all are not keeping up. You're performing. You're smiling, you're swiping, you're splitting, you're posting. Then you're going home stressed. That is not luxury. That is pressure with good lighting. Okay, if your friendships collapse because you can't afford a brunch, were they really built on depth or were they built on deposits? I'm just saying. Hey Luxis, Allstate Insurance, Robert Shaw. He's the guy you need to call when you need insurance. For your home, for your car, for your flood insurance. He's the guy. Robert Shaw, Allstate Insurance. Now, back to the show. Okay, I need to soften this because I'm not telling you to call um cut people off. I'm really, I'm not. I'm not. It's about cutting pressure off. That's all we're talking about here today. It's about becoming secure enough to say I don't need to prove anything. Let's not go on that trip to Dominican Republic because truthfully, I'm on a payment plan and the payment plan has a payment plan. What kind of sense does that even make? Those are the conversations you should have. And if you're not able to have them, again, you got to ask yourself why? Are you in the process? Are you always going to be continuously trying to prove that you belong? Or are you going to show that, hey, look, I am financially aware of where I am and I'm willing to sacrifice my circles if I need to. That's growth, that's maturity, that's owning your life back. And ultimately, that's owning your lux.

Owning Your Lux And Next Steps

Erica Rawls 9:06

Okay, y'all. I came for you very hard today. I really did. So, what I need you to do, put in the comments, my goals come first if this resonated with you. Because, yeah, living this life through your friends or trying to figure out you're navigating through this friendship, the relationships, it's hard. It really is hard. But you ultimately you want a safe space. And that's what we're doing here. We're building a safe space. Oh, and by the way, I have a financial journal that's coming out. TBD. The TBD is long because every time I look at it, I want to change something. But I do have the financial um the budget sheet that I'm gonna be sharing with you here shortly. But the journal is a 52-week um journal that gives you prompts that's gonna allow you to walk through a journey that's gonna get you financially whole. And at the end of it, you're gonna be so satisfied. And I can't wait to share it with you.