Self-Care or Self-Sabotage? The Financial Truth Nobody Wants to Hear

Is it really self-care… or is it sabotage dressed up as luxury?

In this video, we break down the difference between responsible self-care and emotional spending that leaves you anxious and financially unstable. Getting your hair, nails, clothes, and cars won’t feel good when you can’t cover an emergency.

True self-care means peace of mind. It means being able to pay for a broken water heater, car repairs, or unexpected bills without panic.

This is about financial wholeness — addressing emotional, relational, and generational money habits so you can live well without guilt, anxiety, or self-sabotage.

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Transcript

Self-Care Hype Meets Reality

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Ladies, let's talk self-care. I know there's a lot of people out here on the internet just talking. Self-care is the first thing we want to do before anything else. Self-care this, self-care that. I'm all about self-care. I promise you. However, I'm not about self-care to the detriment of your financial ability to pay your bills. There's a difference. There really is a difference. Okay, okay, I hear you. Well, um, I feel like I need to have my mental taken care of, and that's the only way I can actually relax and release. Yeah, but do you ever think about that might be covering up something that needs to be addressed? I know it's so sensitive. And you're probably like, who does she think she is? I know, right? Well, I'm your auntie, okay? Auntie E. How about that? And I'm here to share with you that sometimes we like to cover things up that need to be addressed. And a lot of it comes in the in the picture of self-care: getting your hair done, your nails done, going to the spa, getting pedicures, going on vacations, and we know we can't actually afford it. So let's break that down. How can we make it so that self-care really is that? Just think about the definition of self-care. Taking care of yourself. Let's just think about that for a minute. You decided to take care of yourself in an expensive way, and now you're paying for it later. Was that really self-care? Because now you're anxious. Wait, are you really self-caring? No, you're not self-caring. Let's figure this out. I want nothing more than for you to feel comfortable to have the best life possible. And you cannot do that when you self-sabotage. That's all we're doing. That is not self-care. Self-care dressed up as sabotage. I should say sabotage dressed up as self-care. No bueno, no bueno. We're going in hot today because I think it's important for everybody to know that there really is a difference. A difference between self-care and being irresponsible. Now, if you're following me, you've heard this before. Yeah, and I want to keep beating my drum until we get something to click because it's really important. I see so many of us spending so much money on nails, on hair, on clothes, on cars, and then get anxious because, well, I deserve a raise. You deserve a raise. Why? So you couldn't you can afford this car so you can get your nails done. What performance have you done on your job in order for you to justify, truly justify other than getting that car to get a raise? You put blame everybody else for the reason why you're in the situation that you're in. No, it's because you chose self-care over being responsible. I had to take 30 seconds to share with you one of our sponsors for this episode, Top Construction. They are a premier construction company located in Central PA. So if you live in Dolphin, Cumberland, Lancaster, and Lebanon counties, you want to check them out. Not only are they reliable, they are reasonable, and they get the job done. Now let's go back to the episode. So let me challenge you with this. What sounds more like self-care? Getting your hair and nails done, or having the money available when your water heater breaks down, or your engine blows up, or you run out of food. Which one is self-care? And oh, the joy you're gonna have when you get that unexpected bill in the mail, and you're able to pay for it. I mean, you're sleeping easy, baby, at night. I mean, there's nothing to worry about. And you're able to go out and do those things that you want, getting your hair, your nails, your clothes, your shoes, trips with peace of mind. That is self-care. You see that? You see the difference? So time out for the back to it again. I deserve this. Time out for that. Time out for the self-care when you can't afford it. Self-care can be done in so many different ways. Let's talk about this. Hold on. I want to sip my coffee real quick. Let's talk about this. Self-care, you don't have to spend money. Share with me in the comments how many other ways you you can actually have self-care without spending a dime. One of them is reading a book, curling up, binge watching shows until who knows when, until the next morning if you want to. Having your friends come over, having your friends come over and just laughing until y'all pee on yourselves. That is the best. Or, or having a picnic date for those that are have couples or married, having a picnic date in your living room if it's too cold outside, or on um on the lakefront somewhere on Front Street. I live in Central PA, so there's a Susquehanna River. You can have a picnic set station set up right there. That's all free. Free self-care. Because the definition of self-care is what? Making sure you take time out of your day or your week or your month in order to reset or to feel good. And feeling good does not have to cost you sleep or restless nights or money. And the ultimate guilt. If you're looking for car, life, or casualty insurance, they're gonna be your ultimate insurance company. Thank you, Rob Shaw, with Allstate Insurance. Now, back to the show. I have a stance and I'm gonna make sure that everyone understands what it is. Oh, and I have something to share with you. I have a financial wholeness journal I want to share with you all. It's a 52-week journey to becoming financially whole because a lot of people think getting out of debt or understanding your finances is all financial. It's not. I have a new spin on things. I know for a fact that becoming financially whole, you have to uncover emotional, relational, and generational generational issues. And that's what we do in this journal. And have a companion guide to give you the um backstory in order for you to even do better with your journal. So by the end of your 52 weeks, you're gonna be financially whole. And I promise you, promise you all, it's not about depriving yourself. It's not, it's about uncovering layers in order for you to live the life that you truly deserve and afford it.