Coffee With E

A Live Story of Financial Freedom, Boundaries & Becoming Whole | Coffee with E

• Erica Rawls

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This episode of Coffee with E is raw, powerful, and unforgettable.
Recorded live in front of an audience at the Central PA Women’s Mastermind, this conversation dives deep into what it really means to become whole, emotionally, financially, and mentally, when life doesn’t go according to plan.

In this episode, I sit down with Brittany Giles, who courageously shares her story of navigating marriage, addiction, unexpected debt, pregnancy, panic attacks, bankruptcy, and ultimately rebuilding her life from the ground up.

This is not just a story about money, it’s about:
- Slowing down before making life-altering decisions
- Learning to trust yourself again
- Setting boundaries when love isn’t enough
- Why financial independence is about peace, not pride
- How stress and silence can destroy your health
- Choosing community instead of isolation
- Delaying gratification to build real wealth
- Burning the ships and betting on yourself

Brittany opens up about discovering massive hidden debt while pregnant, internalizing stress to the point of hospitalization, and the moment she realized she couldn’t want someone’s healing more than they did.

From there, she walks us through:
- Hitting rock bottom
- Leaving with nothing but faith and resolve
- Starting over in real estate
- Living with extreme discipline
- Rebuilding credit, confidence, and stability
- Creating a life where her children could thrive

This episode is for:
- Women carrying silent financial stress
- Anyone navigating marriage, addiction, or divorce
- Mothers holding everything together while falling apart
- Women who look fine on the outside but feel stuck on the inside
- Anyone who needs permission to choose themselves

☕ Key Reminder:
You are not weak for needing help.
You are not broken for starting over.
And you are not behind, you are becoming.

If this conversation helped you, please subscribe, share it with another woman, and join us in the comments. Your story matters more than you think.

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Live Audience Warmup And Intent

SPEAKER_00

Welcome to another episode of Crawford with me. If you're watching on YouTube, I want to welcome you. I am so glad that you are here. Today's episode is so special because we are recording this podcast in front of a live studio audience at the Central PA Women's Mastermind. And for the women in the room, the women in the room, are y'all away? All right. Thank you for being here. Not only did you attend an amazing event, you also are helping us create this episode. Now, before we get started, I want you to get uncomfortable. I want you to tell the woman next to you that you smell good, you look good, so happy to meet you. All the things. I love it. You're so good at this. Okay, y'all. So at Coffee With Thee, now if you need to take it offline, get their number, okay, and set up a coffee date. Okay. Now, at Coffee With Thee, again, we talk about how to become whole, okay? We do believe that a girl, a woman, um has the right to live the life that they truly deserve, okay, and afford it. Now, today's episode, we're going to be talking about um how to become the best virgin of yourself, how to become the best virgin of yourself, and be financially stable. And also enjoy it, okay. Now, how many of you ever felt like you were doing all the things right? All the things right and still felt unsure? Just give me a small nod. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well, let me be honest with you. There was a time in my life where I felt like that having it all, excuse me, I felt like that having the being the best version of myself meant that I looked like I had it all together. There was this time that I bought my first luxury bag. Okay, listen to this, y'all. I bought my first luxury bag, and I felt like, you know what? I made it. I have arrived. I really thought that that bag meant I had life all figured out. Yeah, I know I'm alone. I know.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

Slowing Down To Make Better Choices

Introducing Brittany And Her Impact

The Mailbox Shock: Hidden Debt

SPEAKER_00

So, how many people purchase in confidence in the moment, okay, and then they panic later? Yeah, y'all are my people. Y'all are definitely my people. See, it wasn't because I was being irresponsible, it was because I never slowed down long enough to make good decisions, okay? And I see it all the time. We're good at setting goals, we don't lack setting goals. I mean, if you're like me, we set goals on top of goals. Where we struggle most is that we don't slow down, we don't pause, we spend before we think. And we again we just get very busy. Okay. So, and because we get busy, we don't stop to get clear. And we can't do that. By us doing that, we cause a lot of issues with ourselves internally as well as externally. So here's what changed for me. I got real honest with myself. I would ask myself some questions. Questions like, well, first let me share with you. It wasn't because I was judging myself. The questions were coming from a place of judgment, because I want you to walk away knowing this. You have to ask yourself questions, but you can't judge yourself, okay? And the other thing is, you cannot come from a place of criticism, okay? But some of the questions I would ask myself was, um, girl, why are you buying this? Okay, maybe I was a little judgmental, okay? But also, what season are you in in your life? And the other question I would ask, and I love this question so much I still ask it to this day, is would your future me thank you for what you're doing? The decision you're about to make, would your future me thank me for it? And if the answer was no, I wouldn't. And what that did was allow me not to make impulsive decisions, but make more decisions with intention. Now, one of the things I do want to um ask you is um before we get into Brittany, one of the questions that I actually have for you that you should walk away understanding is what decision in your life would feel easier right now if you had slowed down first? What decision in your life would feel easier if you had slowed down first? Because financial independence doesn't start with money, it doesn't. It starts first with admitting that you are not doing the right things. And once you are able to admit it, self-trust starts to become a thing. And then when you have self-trust, you're able to delay gratification because you have the confidence and wait for what matters. Now, this opportunity would not be allowed unless Britney Giles had called me and said, Hey Erica, let's do an episode of Coffee with the Women's Mastermind. Yes, it's our version of Oprah. It's our version right. So I'm excited about this opportunity because one thing you don't know, this is your first time at the Central PA Women's Mastermind. Can you raise your hand for a second? I just want to see how many people she's affected. Now, don't make her cry. I'm getting choked up feeling her emotions up here. That is amazing. The community that she's building, I've seen it firsthand. She was so excited when this start happened. Like she is a quiet storm, y'all. Quiet storm. She is, she'll smile, she talks softly. But when I tell you she knows how to get things done and she has the greatest impact on anyone's life that she has the opportunity to touch, she gets to feed and grow other people. So thank you for that. Thank you. My God. You're welcome. Oh my gosh. Okay, now you're on the hot seat. Okay, here we go. Yes. So when you look back at your journey, what was the first personal shift you had to make become to become a stronger version of yourself? And how did that shift impact your confidence and your ability, hold on, sorry, to create financial independence?

SPEAKER_02

She was ready. I was ready, okay. Um, yeah, so um, for those of you who don't know me, um I came home from work one day, wasn't feeling good. I was six months pregnant, so you can just imagine, right? It was just pregnancy, nausea. I ate something that I probably shouldn't have for lunch that day. And when I came home from work, I got this weird voice in my head saying, check the mail. And that seemed so innocent, but I never checked the mail because my husband at the time, not this handsome fellow up here, this was pre-handsome fellow Ben. Um not him, um, he had worked construction. So he worked 7 a.m. to 3 p.m. He was always home before me. Um, but I thought, you know what, I'm gonna check the mail today. And when I checked the mail before I walked in, I saw this huge envelope from PSECU. And I thought this was interesting because I do not bank with PSECU. And when I opened it up, it was a statement for a credit card and a statement for a personal line of credit. And each of them had a pass due balance of over$10,000. And so my first reaction was, oh my gosh, our identity has been stolen. Like that was like my very first guess. Like somebody stole our identity, and I gotta call my husband right now. So I tried to call him, he didn't answer, and I texted him. And I was like, you're never gonna guess what came in the mail today. We got this credit card statement and this personal loan statement, each are over$10,000. I need you to call me. I think someone has stolen our identity. Because what did he say?

SPEAKER_00

That's what I want to do.

SPEAKER_02

Just get to the end. I'm ready to fight for you. It was, I got no response, yeah, which I thought was weird because he can normally respond. And so then I start really digging into these statements. I start reading the statements, and I'm going, Stan's beverage, Stan's Beverage, Stan's Beverage again. And um, this is not a shame on Stan's Beverage in Mount Holly Springs, but if you are it is a beer distributor. Oh and I used to live in Mount Holly, was literally, you know, as the crow flies, like two miles from me. And that was when I knew, oh shit, excuse my language, but oh shit. I am six months pregnant with my second child, and this debt is mine. And by me, I mean my husband's. Um, I did not know, but he had listed me as a co-signer when he had opened up these accounts.

SPEAKER_00

Um, so well, wait a second, what did you do when he came home? That's the conversation we wanted.

Panic, Hospital Visit, And Silence

SPEAKER_02

I love the nothing. So he came home, and I don't know how I was able to stay calm, but I just handed him the statements and I said, Can you please explain this? You didn't flip a table when you said that? I didn't flip a table. I think I was still processing. Like, I'm like, is this my reality? Like, there's gotta be an explanation. And I do remember he always wore a camo hat, he was an avid hunter, and he took off his hat and he was like, I just didn't know how to tell you. And I'm like, tell me what? Like, when did this start? Like, what is going on? And he he was unemployed for a little bit, um, but got back to work. And during that unemployment season, he just his spending habits never changed, and his beer drinking habit got worse. So when he was unemployed, he was drinking all day, but I had no idea. Um, and when he would come home, he he had a boat in the garage, and he would actually hide the cases of beer in the boat. Oh so I guys, I literally had I was completely oblivious that my husband was an alcoholic. Like just maybe the signs were there, but I think I chose to not see them. And I also think it was I was young, so you don't know when you don't know. I didn't know what the signs were. And so he then explained to me that what he would do, because I'm like, how have you been making payments? I mean, obviously you're late, but like, how have you been making payments and me not see these PSECU transfers on the bank account? So, what he would do was he would use the credit card cash advance to make the payment on the line of credit. Oh, and then he would take the line of credit to pay the credit card. And so that's how you get to 10,000 each. So it wasn't just beer, a lot of it was beer, and then a$2,000 repair to his truck that he didn't tell me about. I don't know if it was a repair or just the chip, the fancy chip. If you have husbands with trucks, you know what I'm talking about. They're like these power booster chips that make them louder and obnoxious. Um, so he had one of those, but that's how it compounded so quickly and got out of control. Um, and the letter finally came in the mail because he he maxed both out and wasn't making payment. So they stopped, they froze the accounts, um, and that's why the letter finally came.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, so how did you feel in that moment? Because you said you had an unborn child, you were six months pregnant, right?

SPEAKER_02

Yep, and I had a three-year-old at home.

SPEAKER_00

And you had a three-year-old at home. So, like, walk us through like what did you actually feel in that moment that you were going through all of this?

SPEAKER_02

Panic.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I bet.

SPEAKER_02

It was a silent panic. Um, and actually a week later, I was sent to the hospital because of a panic attack. Um, I was sitting at work trying to pretend like everything was fine, but I kept sitting here going, How are we gonna pay this off? Um, I have another baby on the way. At the time we were already living pretty paycheck to paycheck. Um, but I always, you know, at the time I was in a corporate job and they kept saying, if you get to this, we're gonna give you a promotion, we're gonna put it in the budget next year. Um, so I just kept hanging on. And then that moment I was just like, it doesn't matter if a promotion comes. Like, how am I gonna get out of this hole? Um, and the week later, when I was in the hospital and drove myself, um, I found out if you are pregnant, you get the express lane to like they took me back immediately. There was no, let's check your vinyls. Like, yeah, right away it went back. My husband showed up two hours later, and every time he chatted, my heart rate would spike. And the nurse finally looked at him. She goes, Sir, I do not know what you did, but she is pissed at you, and I need you to stay silent. And I was like, it was him. And so finally he ended up, I can't remember what he did, but he walked out of the room. And when the nurse came back, she started asking me questions.

SPEAKER_00

So you were internalizing all of this.

SPEAKER_02

All of it. I hadn't spoken to anyone about it. Um, I was trying to figure like I thought magically this magical idea would like come to my head and be like, that's it, I'm gonna solve this, but I could not figure it out. Um, and that's when I told the nurse, and they were like, okay, this isn't a heart issue, this is anxiety.

Interventions, Al-Anon, And Rock Bottom

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. So how many other women in the room can relate to this story just from the simple fact that you have internalized all of your stress to the detriment of your health? Yes, yes, it happens all the time.

SPEAKER_02

I think, and I'm sure men do this too, but I think women are very guilty of it.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Because we have to be the ones that hold it all together for our family, for our kids. We're the ones that have to keep everything organized, and we have to stay strong because if we start panicking, everybody starts panicking, right?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, sure. Yeah, and your children feed off of your emotions, other besides, I mean, your yeah, maybe the dads, but more so the mom. Like if you're sad, they're sad.

SPEAKER_02

A hundred percent. And my goal was to hide it from Caitlin. So Caitlin's my oldest. I didn't want her to steal that. Um, unfortunately, so what I would, this is kind of sad. So, what I would do is if I had a moment where I just had to cry, I would go hide in my bathroom.

SPEAKER_00

That's not sad, that's normal.

SPEAKER_02

And um, one day I thought I could- Maybe it's sad, but it's sad, but it is normal, right? Like I went and I hid in the bathroom, I cried, and I'm like, okay, I got it out. And then when I opened up my door, my little girl was just sitting there on the carpet. Um, and so she knew, like, she could sense Kaylin's always had an old soul, and she could sense something wasn't right. Um, and she actually, little tattletale, she told my mom, my mom used to babysit her. Yeah, and throughout at one point during the day, Kaylin just said to she calls her Nana, she says, Nana, mommy's been crying a lot. And so that's when my parents intervened and they said, What's going on? Um, and so I told them. Um, and then they were like, This is a problem, you are not gonna solve this by yourself. Um, not sure how to fix the finance piece, but they were like, there's definitely an underlying issue. So when I talked with my ex-husband's parents, um they also had concerns about the drinking. And so we tried having an intervention with him. Um, I started going to all-in-on meetings, which is if you know what um Alcoholics Anonymous is, it's for the family members to go to. And it was like my fourth session. My ex-husband still wasn't going to his version of the meetings that he needed to go to, but I kept thinking, if I keep going, like eventually he'll go. Um, and I was sitting there in a circle and I never talked, but I would listen to these stories. And what I kept hearing over and over and over again was they have to hit rock bottom. Um they won't change for anybody but but themselves. And it could be a long road. Like it could, it may, they may never hit that rock bottom, is what I kept hearing. Um, there was moms in the room that had children who had heroin addictions that they had to let become homeless, and they still didn't want to make a change. And so sitting in that room, I thought, oh my gosh, I can't be one of these women. Like I this cannot be my life, this cannot be my kids' life.

SPEAKER_00

Um so the AA meeting was your rock bottom.

SPEAKER_02

Right, that was my rock bottom. Like, yeah, what the hell am I doing here?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um you didn't want to do so what is the before we go into your breakthrough, because I feel it coming. Okay. Okay. So could you share with us what was the throughout this whole thing, now you reflected back on it, like what were your aha's? Like, if you had to do it all over again, what would you change in that moment you just share it with us? So for the person that may be going through something similar, right? What can we share with them?

SPEAKER_02

I think it's if you're so maybe if it's if they're married to somebody with addiction, is that what you're kind of referring to? Yeah, so I think it's you you do need to call out the action and you need to say to them, this isn't normal. And can we get you help? I I do think you have to start with trying to be that person for them. I don't, I don't believe in divorce. I don't want people to think that I just kicked this person to the curb without going through proper steps of trying to save the marriage and trying to get him the help that he needed.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

Boundaries, Ultimatums, And Self-Protection

SPEAKER_02

Um, so it's can we get you help? What can I do to support you? Um, but it's also realizing that you can't be the one doing all the work. So, for example, I thought getting rid of the refrigerator in the garage was gonna make like this huge step. Like, okay, well, if we don't have a beer fridge, that should make it easy. Like, then I'll have to catch him, like if he buys beer. But then that's when I found out he was hiding it in the boat anyway. So it didn't matter about the beer fridge. Um I would line up side work for him, so he's very talented, and I would get him like side jobs doing tile flooring. But I was doing all the life work, like he wasn't going out finding the jobs to go make the extra cash to make the credit card payment. You wanted it more than he did. I wanted it more than he did, and that's what you have to realize. If you're taking more steps than they're taking, it's not gonna work. Um, and you're just actually you're just digging yourself into a deeper hole and you're sapping all of your energy and you're carrying all the guilt, and you just cannot like you cannot do that. You can't want it more than them.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah, that's good. So then um you realize you hit your rock bottom, you're at this AA meeting, and you said, you know what, no more. No more. So can you tell us what happened like after that?

SPEAKER_02

So after that, I went home and I said, you know, it was about October. Um, so we were heightened hunting season. Um, and I said, Listen, you've got until January 1st. If I do not see you taking action, steps towards your own healing and paying off this damn debt. Like I need to see you getting side jobs on your own, I need to see the payments, I need to see that you're gonna go to AA or whatever plan you choose. There's other options. I wasn't stuck on that, but it was just if I don't see you taking those steps, I am leaving.

SPEAKER_00

That's how she is with coaching, y'all. You just saw a coaching session by Britney Giles. If you do not do this, you're a four-love one, next me. Yeah, don't show up. Don't show up. Yeah, just okay. I'm just lightening the room because this is heavy stuff, y'all. This is really heavy. And I thank you. Are we grateful that she's sharing this with us? Is this helping anyone? Oh shit. You're welcome.

SPEAKER_02

It's nerve-wracking a little bit.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, okay. So then you gave him, you actually created standards for him.

SPEAKER_02

Standards, and I needed to create, I needed to start creating boundaries for myself. Because it was it was eating me alive. Um, I'm already a small person. Um, but at the height of this, I mean, with Kinsley, she's my secondborn, I ended up only gaining 20 pounds in that entire pregnancy. If you've ever been pregnant, that's pretty much the baby and the fluid that surrounds the baby because I could not eat. Um, and then after having her, I got down to 103 pounds. That's about what my 12 year old weighs. But the stress will kill you. Like the stress can kill you. And so for me, it was I am not being the mom that my kids need me to be. Because I am not even a quarter of the best version of myself. So, how can I give them the life that they deserve? How can I have the energy that they need me to have if I'm hanging by a thread every single day?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, not to get all spiritual, but God does not waste an experience. And here's what I'm seeing. So had you not had your children, I think it would have been harder for you to leave.

unknown

Oh.

SPEAKER_00

So he puts you in a situation where, hey, I gotta give her hope. So you seeing your girls there was the hope that you needed to make a life that was different, make it better for them. Because that's what I heard you say. Not you, you wanted to make it better for them. So I'm grateful that you know you had that to help you. Otherwise, we would not be able to experience the Britney Giles that we have today. Like I'm grateful for that.

Leaving, Single-Mom Math, And Real Estate

SPEAKER_02

I appreciate that. The pain makes your purpose. Like the pain that you once went through can serve as your vehicle to help others. So I don't, as hard as it is that I went through it, and some of it my girls have unfortunately had to witness. Um, I don't regret it because it does allow me, it has motivated me to create this. Um, and it has given me more empathy for when people are going through other situations. It doesn't always have to be addiction related, um, but that's such a tough one that it's easier to help other people when they're navigating through just life because life is hard.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, life is really hard. Okay, so how did we get to the dynamic Britney Giles that we see today? Like walk us through that.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Um, so after I left, um, I knew during that time when I was still going to like the AA meetings and kind of like figuring life out, there was a moment when I realized I'm gonna have to make more money. Like I there, I'm gonna have to get out of my nine to five, and I'm gonna have to take the reins on my life and my income. Um, and so after tons of research, I decided to get my real estate license. With that, I knew, you know, now I moved away and I'm living with my parents, thank God, that they were willing to take me and my kids in. Um I decided I gotta go into real estate full time. So I was kind of dabbling it, dabbling in it on the side. I was working for a property management company. They would let me do sales that came my way. Um, but I knew that's where my freedom was. Like those, that was where I was going to break free. I was gonna be able to provide for my kids by myself. Um, here's the thing if you're married or getting divorced from an alcoholic, um, there's no alimony and there's no child support, and you make too much money for any of the government assistance, but not enough to actually pay the bill. So I was in that really great sweet spot of well, you just gotta figure the shit out on your own. And so um actually, it took me a couple of months because I'm a slow processor, I used to be anyway. Um, but that was when I discovered, and they're sitting back there, the Dave Hook team. Yes, big shout out to them. Um, so when I joined the Dave Hook team, it was a huge leap of phase. So I had just this is how I do things, guys. It's a little asinine, but I needed a kick in the ass. And if you think that my kids weren't enough, I really needed to put some shit on the line that was gonna make me wake up and do hard stuff every day. And I had been reading books and I had been interviewing with the Dave Hook team, and I knew that lead gen was gonna be incredibly uncomfortable, and I was about to go do some really hard things that I did not want to do.

SPEAKER_00

Anyone that's a small business owner does not enjoy lead generation, they enjoy the concept of their business, but actually going out to get the business is uncomfortable.

Burning The Ships And First Wins

SPEAKER_02

100%. Yeah, I loved helping people find homes, um, I loved the commission checks. I did not love the lead gen. So I signed a lease for a condo June 1st, and then I quit my salary position at a property management company on June 30th, and I started with the Dave Hook team, I think it was July 17th, and so I completely burned the ships. I was like, there is no going back. I'm a big girl with a lease in my name, and like I'm gonna have to figure out how to get this done. I had$3,000 in my savings account that I managed to scrape up when I was living with my parents. Um, and then that was it. Like there was just the mentality was there is absolutely no going back, and I will not fail my children.

SPEAKER_00

That's I mean, yeah. That's bad, that's big faith right there. And luckily it worked out, yeah, yeah. Oh my gosh. So I mean, I have a similar story when it comes to like burning all this on the ships, yes, leaving a highly paid salary position, going home and tell my husband, hey, I'm gonna get into real estate. Oh, by the way, I have to, you know, close deals. Like, yeah, that's a big deal. It is a big deal. Jeez, that's awesome. That is awesome. Okay, so then you went in, full steam ahead, burn all the ships or the the bridge. I burn the ships.

SPEAKER_02

That's what I like to say. We like to just burn the ships. Burn the ship. Okay.

SPEAKER_00

We okay, so then you're all in. You're all in. You had a great support system, though.

SPEAKER_02

Huge support system. So I think that's another key point is when you're going through hard things, you cannot go through them alone.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

Community, Support Systems, And Momentum

SPEAKER_02

Um, and so I didn't really disclose what I was going through with a lot of my team members right off the bat, but I knew being around that positive environment was exactly where I needed to be. The systems and support and the training that Drew and her team provide is unmatched. And so it did allow me to thrive really quickly. So typically, an independent agent, um, for those of you in real estate, you know it can take six months to a year to get that first commission check, even with all the work that you're putting in. Um, I joined the team in July. I think I had my first closing with them in September. So you need to find community and you need to find support that's gonna help you because you you can't do it alone. And being around all that positive energy, um, you you're like the five most people that you're with. And so it helped me not feel sorry for myself every day. Because it was really easy to wake up in the morning and be like, I can't believe this is my life. Yeah. It was really easy to do that. And I'm not gonna lie to you, there were some days that I still went through that. Um, you know, I did have to meet with a bankruptcy attorney because the only way to remove my name from the credit cards and the personal line of credit that I did not rack up myself was I either had to A, pay them off. I didn't have 20 grand. Um, and I would still have a significantly hurt credit score. B, turn in my ex-husband, the father of my children, um, into the police.

SPEAKER_00

As is, oh, the police.

SPEAKER_02

Uh being theft.

SPEAKER_00

I would have sent him to jail.

SPEAKER_02

A lot of people have said that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Quick.

SPEAKER_02

So I I opted for option C because I felt like it was the one that made the less ripple effect. Because at the end of the day, I still had hope that someday he would hit his rock bottom and that he could be the dad that my kids needed him to be.

SPEAKER_00

Even in the midst of all that drama that he calls your life, you were kind. You were kind.

SPEAKER_02

I didn't want to kick him while he was down.

SPEAKER_00

Man, and so that is commendable. Yeah, seriously, that's commendable. That is really commendable. Yeah, seriously. Because I know, like I said, I would have thrown him in jail. I would have been making sure that he hurt just as much as he hurt me and my children. So for what you did, you are seriously an angel. Did he ever thank you for it?

unknown

Hell no.

SPEAKER_00

We should be on his door today. I know, right? Yeah. Yeah. So that's awesome. I appreciate that. Thank you for sharing that. Okay, so when did you know you became a stronger version of yourself? Like when it was like, okay, I'm starting to feel good. Because even when you go through those emotions, at least for me, right? You're going through all these different changes, you still feel like crap, right? You start having an imposter syndrome. You're like, okay, I'm not who people think I am, right? So when did it all click? Like, okay, yeah, I am, you know, who everyone thinks I am. You know, I am confident, I am self-assured, I am worthy. Like, when did that start for you?

SPEAKER_02

I feel like that part took a long time. Um, but I think when it really started to turn around for me was when I was able to buy a house for the first time. Um, for me and the girls and my now husband, we were able to buy a home. And my credit score was high enough, and I had funds towards a down payment. Um, that for me was kind of it. Like, hey, you got through bankruptcy, you went from living paycheck to paycheck, and now you're buying a home for you and your family, you're getting out of a two-bedroom condo. Um, I think, and I and I had money in the bank. Like, I think that's that was it for me of like you're doing it, you're providing. Thank you.

Hard Choices: Bankruptcy Versus Revenge

SPEAKER_00

So, one of the things that I've seen when people are going through these um, you know, uh challenges, life happens to everyone. However, we like to put on a brave face. And the community that we're building, they all have something similar in common, right? They may not share how they're really feeling, okay? And in order to cover that up, they'll buy things, they'll buy things, even though they may not have the ability to afford the things.

SPEAKER_01

Yep.

SPEAKER_00

So you said you went through bankruptcy. Like, what are some of the things that you had to delay? Oh gosh, everything with your friends going to parties, they're on trips. There was no trips, right?

SPEAKER_02

Um, Ben and I for a long time, we were a one-car family. Like, we did not have car payments. What? You had one car? We had one car between the two of us.

SPEAKER_00

What was the what was the model? Make a model.

SPEAKER_02

Um was it Mercedes? No, it was like a what was it? A Chevy Equinox.

SPEAKER_00

And then Chevy Equinox and real estate.

SPEAKER_02

And then on Honda Odyssey for a while. An old minivan. I had a showing agent at home. No one had to see my car. Um no, it was it was sacrifice. Um, actually, Drew Richmond used to give me some of her clothes from her closet. She'd be like, I haven't worn these in a while. There she is. Yeah. I was wearing Drew's old clothes for like a year. Um God love Drew. Yeah, she's been with me through most of this journey. Um, I was wearing her clothes. Dave Hook would, you know, he gave me a scholarship to go to bold um to help kickstart my real estate business. But other than that, I really, we didn't go anywhere. Um, I didn't go out to eat a lot. It was cooking meals at home. Um, I didn't have fancy bags, I didn't have the best laptop. I had, you know, somebody else's used cell phone because they got the latest upgrade. And so I would take, I would buy their old cell phone. I bought my kids clothes and toys at yard sales and consignment shops. Um yeah, we just we made do. And honestly, at Christmas, what I would do is I would solicit to all the grandparents, and I'd be like, all right, guys, this is what the kids want. Like, can you help me make it happen? And we would all go in on gifts that they wanted. Um my worst month in real estate was the month of Christmas. That was fun. I had like four deals fall apart for the work, like one was a septic issue for the real estate agents in the room. You're like, yes, those are freaking horrible. Um, I had one where the buyer was also selling their house and they just quit making payments on their mortgage of the house that they still owned. Yep, that happened. Um, and then I can't remember the other two scenarios, but so in the month of December, everything fell apart. Um, but the cool thing was is we were okay.

SPEAKER_00

That's great. See, so you're an example of you don't need to have the luxury car, you don't have to have the latest and greatest technology, you don't have to have the nicest wardrobe in order for you to succeed. In this example, in real estate or any small business, you were humble enough and you were um actually disciplined enough to be able to delay those things, right? And you waited for what really mattered.

SPEAKER_02

And that's what you have to do.

SPEAKER_00

That's what you have to do.

SPEAKER_02

Like it's that love that, and it's tough when you're in real estate. Um, everybody around you is driving nicer cars and wearing nicer clothes. The pressure's real. The pressure is real, but the cool thing was is again, it's about the community that you surround yourself with.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that part.

SPEAKER_02

Um, the community that I was in with the Dave Hook team and the people that I was choosing to be around, they didn't value those things. They valued building wealth. And so they were teaching me this is how you build wealth. And you know, um, Dave Hook wasn't driving a Mercedes. You know, he was at the time, I think it was like a GM or I can't even remember, but it was he doesn't drive, he doesn't dress like he's a million bucks. Like he just looks like a random guy.

Rebuilding Confidence And Buying A Home

SPEAKER_00

Like my grandfather always told me that too. Yeah, um, you gotta watch the people that look sharp, you know, they're they're look clean from um head to tail, I mean head to toe, you know, wearing the most luxury and most expensive suits, those are people probably struggling financially.

SPEAKER_02

100%. Yeah, and so it was being around a community that valued the same things that I valued, yeah. Um, and not comparing other people's outsides to my insides. So not letting social media make me feel like I'm less than because I'm not wearing whatever. I don't even know. I can't even think of a top brand right now to me, because that's just not who I am, but yeah.

SPEAKER_00

This is so good, y'all. I mean, I got a couple things out of it. First of all, I don't know if I could have been this vulnerable. So again, thank you for sharing your story. And it's funny because I was sitting with someone a couple days ago and we were talking about, or maybe it was a video. I get it confused. I talked to myself too, y'all. I ain't gonna lie. Um, just having conversations with myself, and but there was a moment when um someone was saying um a lot of people have gifts, and it's through the stories and the life that they live. And you know, again, not getting spiritual, but I am. The enemy does everything he possibly can to make sure that you remain silent because the story that you have is going to release someone and it needs to be heard. So I want to command and commission every last one of you women in this room, no longer be silent, share your story because you're gonna help someone break free.

SPEAKER_02

And I I want to add to that. Um yeah, for one, everybody has a story, and your story can make an impact to someone no matter how little or big you think your pain is. It's like suffering is suffering, hard is hard, and you don't know what the person next to you is going through. And by sharing what you're going through can make them feel like I'm not alone. Um, and that was the one of the bigger parts of my experience was realizing there are so many people experiencing similar things that I'm going through. And it's why I've become so passionate about making sure women understand financial independence. It may not end in divorce, it may be that your spouse gets injured and they can't work, and short-term disability only pays 60% of your base salary. Could you imagine if that happened to your family today? What would you do? And so, financial independence isn't because you need to be a strong, independent woman who needs no man. My man is right here. I need him very much.

SPEAKER_00

My man, my man, my man.

Sacrifice, Delayed Gratification, And Wealth

SPEAKER_02

Yes. Um, and I don't want to do life without him. And yet, I want to know that God forbid, if Ben breaks a leg and can't do podcasts, we'd figure it out, we'd wheelchair him around. But yeah, worst case scenario, if something happened and he couldn't work, I could still provide. And we like to be vice versa. So God forbid if something happens to me, can Ben provide? So we try to not live on both of our incomes for that reason. And so I think that's the main message that I want you to get today is one is you can survive hard things, but you do need community. You shouldn't do it alone. And B, there is an importance behind financial independence and as a family, living within your means, doing your best to live on one income, because those things, when they happen, you never thought it would be you. Like I never thought when I got married to my first husband that it was gonna end the way that it did. And if we went into it thinking that it would, we probably wouldn't get married in the first place.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Um, so when you think it's not gonna happen to you, it can everybody thinks that. So be prepared, um, be financially smart and financially independent.

Closing Gratitude And Subscribe CTA

SPEAKER_00

Good stuff. Can we give Brittany Giles a round of applause, y'all? Thank you for watching another episode of Coffee with Thee. I know you enjoyed it. There were so many good nuggets, and I hope this message has helped somebody. This is what I need you to do. If you have not subscribed, please do so. Hit that notification button, and I cannot wait to meet you in the comments.

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Erica Rawls

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